The space between
Hey All,
Sorry for the not keeping everyone up to date. We have been waiting for this MRI and genetic lab results, both of which had a 6 month wait time. We will call the time since the last activity the "Space between." The space between has been an amazingly sweet time for us. If it was our design we would not have let it play out the way it has, we would have wanted answers sooner. However; this time has allowed us to enjoy, develop, and love on our little Mila-girl. Although she is still very tiny she is crawling, cruising and even recently took her first steps (the most is 15). Her demeanor is one of gentleness and laughter. She has an inner beauty that shines in her precious eyes. Her brothers and sisters love cuddling her and over the past six months the sweetness of her personality has been the joy of our family. We have lived in bliss almost forgetting the road before us. I think Michelle and I fear that we got this sweet time because the next several months may be tough. Our prayer is that it is not. Our hope is that we can praise God for good news. Praise him for understanding why. Praise him for the Love of our family and the spiritual maturity of our kids. The fear is that we will have to Glorify Him even in suffering (Romans 5). We fear that this trial is one we will not see God's fruitful design until it is further down the road. Either way, this space between has given us a resemblance of normalcy accented by a little happy toddler at our feet.
On 6/8 we had the long awaited (6 months) MRI, Mila's second. A follow-up to the one in December. This one is to learn more about her lower spine (the potential for Spina bifida) and to make sure that the Chiari has not created cysts along her spine brought on by the pooling of fluid. This would create an acute situation leading to surgery...Given the fact that she is so tiny (17.5 pounds this morning) and there are underlying genetics the MRI is risky. Especially when you have to fully sedate a developing brain 2 times in 6 months. There could be long term effects.
Mila is smart! She has been through so much this last year and she remembers all of it. She gets anxious in offices, she is fearful of scrubs and she hates being poked, pricked, prodded and pulled out of our arms. We arrived an hour early as directed and the anxiety was palpable. Checking in took 5 minutes which meant waiting was close to an hour. They took her back, on time, and this time seemed harder than most because Michelle and I felt the similar anxieties as before that was only disguised by our happy space between. This moment rushed us back to where we were and what we felt 6 months ago. In a season of the unknown. I wish the space between was our normal.
Mila did great! Michelle and I sat in the waiting room outside her room and every time someone entered/exited, our hearts skipped. Eventually we heard that familiar cry and she was returned to our arms, lethargic but fine. Now we anxiously await the results that will come... On Monday (6/11). Please continue to pray for Mila. Her growth, for nothing acute or dangerous and for a longer "Space between" the next scan. Pray for, God willing, her healing. Please pray for our hearts and that they align with God. One overwhelming truth I personally felt was that in this season of normal I was not as reliant on prayer as when times were tough. Isn't that so true of a fallen heart and scheme of the devil... To allow good times to distract us from what our heart truly needs, a heart yearning to be connected to our Savior. Spiritual disciplines do help in these times but God knows what he is doing and even uses life's struggles to draw us near. In the end, these are the Godly moment we all need and is why suffering leads to Hope.
Love ya'll
Sorry for the not keeping everyone up to date. We have been waiting for this MRI and genetic lab results, both of which had a 6 month wait time. We will call the time since the last activity the "Space between." The space between has been an amazingly sweet time for us. If it was our design we would not have let it play out the way it has, we would have wanted answers sooner. However; this time has allowed us to enjoy, develop, and love on our little Mila-girl. Although she is still very tiny she is crawling, cruising and even recently took her first steps (the most is 15). Her demeanor is one of gentleness and laughter. She has an inner beauty that shines in her precious eyes. Her brothers and sisters love cuddling her and over the past six months the sweetness of her personality has been the joy of our family. We have lived in bliss almost forgetting the road before us. I think Michelle and I fear that we got this sweet time because the next several months may be tough. Our prayer is that it is not. Our hope is that we can praise God for good news. Praise him for understanding why. Praise him for the Love of our family and the spiritual maturity of our kids. The fear is that we will have to Glorify Him even in suffering (Romans 5). We fear that this trial is one we will not see God's fruitful design until it is further down the road. Either way, this space between has given us a resemblance of normalcy accented by a little happy toddler at our feet.
On 6/8 we had the long awaited (6 months) MRI, Mila's second. A follow-up to the one in December. This one is to learn more about her lower spine (the potential for Spina bifida) and to make sure that the Chiari has not created cysts along her spine brought on by the pooling of fluid. This would create an acute situation leading to surgery...Given the fact that she is so tiny (17.5 pounds this morning) and there are underlying genetics the MRI is risky. Especially when you have to fully sedate a developing brain 2 times in 6 months. There could be long term effects.
Mila is smart! She has been through so much this last year and she remembers all of it. She gets anxious in offices, she is fearful of scrubs and she hates being poked, pricked, prodded and pulled out of our arms. We arrived an hour early as directed and the anxiety was palpable. Checking in took 5 minutes which meant waiting was close to an hour. They took her back, on time, and this time seemed harder than most because Michelle and I felt the similar anxieties as before that was only disguised by our happy space between. This moment rushed us back to where we were and what we felt 6 months ago. In a season of the unknown. I wish the space between was our normal.
Mila did great! Michelle and I sat in the waiting room outside her room and every time someone entered/exited, our hearts skipped. Eventually we heard that familiar cry and she was returned to our arms, lethargic but fine. Now we anxiously await the results that will come... On Monday (6/11). Please continue to pray for Mila. Her growth, for nothing acute or dangerous and for a longer "Space between" the next scan. Pray for, God willing, her healing. Please pray for our hearts and that they align with God. One overwhelming truth I personally felt was that in this season of normal I was not as reliant on prayer as when times were tough. Isn't that so true of a fallen heart and scheme of the devil... To allow good times to distract us from what our heart truly needs, a heart yearning to be connected to our Savior. Spiritual disciplines do help in these times but God knows what he is doing and even uses life's struggles to draw us near. In the end, these are the Godly moment we all need and is why suffering leads to Hope.
Love ya'll
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